Doubt it not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith.
- Paul Tillich
This past Easter Sunday, I once again went to the Garden with Peter and once again saw the empty tomb. It was, is, and I believe always will be a shocking and inspiring vision: to know that Jesus of Nazareth was stronger than death. To know that Jesus is the Christ. To know that death has no dominion over Jesus the Son of God and Son of Man. To know that through God's grace, and Jesus' atonement, we are equally freed and given eternal life.
And yet.
In my life, I have doubted. I've wondered whether or not my faith was merely some kind of intra-personal reassurance, or a version of hubris that refuses to equate my existence with the existence of the rest of the universe. I have looked at images of God, images of Christ, and wondered if they might be merely constructed affirmations of doctrine and dogma.
As theologian Paul Tillich asserts, our doubts are essential components of our developing faith: as we grow in relationship to God and one another, we must needs examine our concepts of the Creator God, the Incarnate and Redeeming God, and the Sanctifying God. As we change in our perception of those concepts, we change also in our relationship to the Divine. My understanding of my own gifts and talents, my purposes in the world, are always changing, depending on my understanding God.
My doubts are never about existence, either mine or God's. It is about the images and terms that I use to identify those concepts. The Old Man with a long, white beard that was the God of my youth (and of my adolescent biblical literalist phase) stopped working when I realized that the anthropomorphic imagery closed God into a very specific form that limited God's interaction with Creation. At first I doubted God's existence. Then, recognizing my own resistance to cognitive dissonance, I changed my perception, and found that God was remaining constant: I was the one who was re-framing my understanding. Re-framing the relationship can create both freedom and anxiety - just as it does when any of our relationships are re-framed.
My doubt in who I thought God was led to a change in my understanding, which led to a change in my relationship, which led to a whole new way of being believer and disciple. When we change in our relationship, we change in our actions - and we are renewed. Our doubts should not drive us away from what we believe, but should provide us a chance to reflect and grow in how we believe.
Empty tombs, resurrected bodies, fish cooked on a beach - all of which we are invited to engage and embrace. Each Easter Season, it is different from the year before - because our doubts lead to understanding which leads to renewal of our faith.
Peace in the Risen Christ,
Fr. Shawn
- Paul Tillich
This past Easter Sunday, I once again went to the Garden with Peter and once again saw the empty tomb. It was, is, and I believe always will be a shocking and inspiring vision: to know that Jesus of Nazareth was stronger than death. To know that Jesus is the Christ. To know that death has no dominion over Jesus the Son of God and Son of Man. To know that through God's grace, and Jesus' atonement, we are equally freed and given eternal life.
And yet.
In my life, I have doubted. I've wondered whether or not my faith was merely some kind of intra-personal reassurance, or a version of hubris that refuses to equate my existence with the existence of the rest of the universe. I have looked at images of God, images of Christ, and wondered if they might be merely constructed affirmations of doctrine and dogma.
As theologian Paul Tillich asserts, our doubts are essential components of our developing faith: as we grow in relationship to God and one another, we must needs examine our concepts of the Creator God, the Incarnate and Redeeming God, and the Sanctifying God. As we change in our perception of those concepts, we change also in our relationship to the Divine. My understanding of my own gifts and talents, my purposes in the world, are always changing, depending on my understanding God.
My doubts are never about existence, either mine or God's. It is about the images and terms that I use to identify those concepts. The Old Man with a long, white beard that was the God of my youth (and of my adolescent biblical literalist phase) stopped working when I realized that the anthropomorphic imagery closed God into a very specific form that limited God's interaction with Creation. At first I doubted God's existence. Then, recognizing my own resistance to cognitive dissonance, I changed my perception, and found that God was remaining constant: I was the one who was re-framing my understanding. Re-framing the relationship can create both freedom and anxiety - just as it does when any of our relationships are re-framed.
My doubt in who I thought God was led to a change in my understanding, which led to a change in my relationship, which led to a whole new way of being believer and disciple. When we change in our relationship, we change in our actions - and we are renewed. Our doubts should not drive us away from what we believe, but should provide us a chance to reflect and grow in how we believe.
Empty tombs, resurrected bodies, fish cooked on a beach - all of which we are invited to engage and embrace. Each Easter Season, it is different from the year before - because our doubts lead to understanding which leads to renewal of our faith.
Peace in the Risen Christ,
Fr. Shawn
