Rules can often become fences and defenses that keep some folks safe inside the corral and keep others out. ...rules can become an idol, an excuse for shutting out those human beings we would rather not have in our backyards--or our living rooms. The rules of Christianity or the canons of the Episcopal Church or the laws of this nation are no different--they can be occasions of grace that shape our growth, or they can become dead or even demonic idols. - p. 37
Perhaps there is an innate rebel in me, or maybe its my subconscious "puer" that keeps surfacing. (I know...most people would say that the "puer" is not beneath the surface at all!) The point is, I love rule breakers and breaking rules myself because I love to "shock the system"! Granted, I am not a rule breaker when it comes to threatening the honest well being of another, but sometimes what another might perceive as their well being might just be staying comfortable within walls that they have constructed or blindly following habits that they just cannot seem to break.
A few years back, I had a student in my speech class, a senior, who just couldn't seem to make it to his Tuesday/Thursday 9:30 a.m. class. He needed to complete the course to graduate, and I was tired of marking him absent. No matter what I said or did, he just didn't respond. In fact, we were becoming somewhat adverserial, which is a no-win scenario for a teacher/student relationship. (It's pretty much a no-win for any relationship).
SO finally, one morning after taking role and noting he was not in class...AGAIN...I told the rest of the students to pack up their bags and that we were going on a field trip. We marched out of the building and walked two blocks to this young man's apartment. I knocked on the door, and there he was, with his roommates, sitting around in their underwear. I said to him, "I'm tired of marking you absent, and I am NOT going to let you throw away your diploma because you are too unmotivated to get to my class. We're having class here today in your apartment. It would be kind for you to offer your classmates a refreshment after our long walk to be with you this morning." His roommates howled, the other students, for the most part, laughed, I lectured, and we had a relatively early dismissal from class. He never missed class again, and each day he entered the classroom, he looked at me and we both laughed.
Shock the system! Do something unexpected! Break a rule! What habits are you in? What Christian dogmas have you bound to the point that you cannot reach out to others? What rule in Leviticus is the line in the sand that you just cannot cross?
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When I was growing up, my Mother always told me never to talk to strangers. I am sure that there are more people than not, are told the same thing. I love to talk to strangers. Even to this day, when we are out somewhere together, and I strike up a conversation with a stranger, my Mother gives me “that look”, the one that tells me that I am out of my mind, inviting trouble. But I continue to do it! She just doesn’t get it. Somewhere in the past I heard “strangers are friends you have yet to meet”. I have never had a bad experience when meeting a stranger. I do try to see the good in everyone. Why not? Most everyone is good people. It’s all about spreading peace by way of the domino effect.
This past Thanksgiving, a very good friend of ours, Lillian, was talking about the combined family gathering she and her fiancé were planning, what they will be cooking, and what others are bringing. It all sounded so delicious! It was unlike any other Thanksgiving fare I had ever heard! There was even home made Kimchee! I point blank asked her what time was dinner. She smiled at me, told me what time and gave us directions to her house, way out there in the country, and said to come early! I told her that I had just had potato candy (Steve, one of my students made it for our Thanksgiving feast in the classroom) for the first time and would make it for them. She told her Father this, neither of them had ever heard of it either. Her Father was so anxious to try it. I made it. It didn’t work. So I made white chocolate bark with dried cranberries instead. Her Father took a bite, thinking still that it was potato candy. He still jokes with me, through Lillian, about the potato candy.
We had just the best time! A house full of strangers/friends, parents siblings, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews and a big dog! They were the most gracious hosts one would ever experience. As we prayed before the meal, I thought about my Mother and her fear of strangers. First of all, she would never invite herself to anyone’s home like that. Second, how very sad that she would never see the good in people she doesn’t know.
At Christmas time, I again invited us for Christmas Eve dinner. Lillian told us that it was going to be at her parent’s house in the Cleveland area. She immediately called her Mother and was told “the more the merrier!” We were given directions to their house. Her father wanted to try this potato candy! Unfortunately we couldn’t take the time to travel. But the thoughtfulness of them extending their hospitality once again was so heartwarming.
I love the movie “Crash”. This movie starts out with people crashing in a bad way first, then there’s the happy ending. But the stress and trouble of getting past what seems like inborn fear is too troublesome for me to consider. I love to “crash” into people in a good way. It’s a joyful beginning, and it carries on, and on, and on. The domino effect. To me, this is spreading joy and peace to the receivers as well as the givers. How can a person help but to sing?
Peace
K.
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